Marriage Lesson 2

Lesson 2: If you're pregnant, you win. Every.Single.Time.

I would be willing to put money on the fact that most married couples have made "the list". You might not have said it out loud, but I can almost guarantee you've compiled one.

What's "the list"? Its a list of all the things you do to contribute to the running of the house or the betterment of the relationship. Odds are "the list" is verbalized shouted at your partner in the midst of the argument that arose from you seeing your partner doing nothing while you were doing laundry.

However, laundry is not the only catalyst for "the list" argument. We all know that when one party works outside the home and the other doesn't, its necessary to defend what exactly one does all day. Now, my husband is amazing at telling me how much he appreciates all I do and often refers to me as "supermom". While he does compliment and thank me often, we still have arguments involving "the list". Given that I am currently pregnant, I am lucky to have the only "out" that exists in this situation - I'm pregnant, I win.

For the ladies who might also be pregnant, let me tell you why we win. We are growing a person. Its that simple.

Men usually have an extremely long and, often times, exaggerated list. They also like to include every.single.thing that they know we are physically incapable of accomplishing on our own. Now, when this "list" makes its way into the argument you need only one comeback - "oh really? Well, I grew/developed___ today... I win."  And, trust me, it doesn't matter WHAT is on your husband's list. He might say he just wont the Nobel Peace Prize. Doesn't matter. You look him straight in the eye and say "Today I grew two arms". If you are unsure of exactly WHAT you grew or developed that day, that's ok. Use the backup. "I am growing a PERSON. I win"

For some reason this stops men in their tracks. They know they have no argument. Regardless of how angry or narcissistic your husband might be, they will not argue with the fact that you are incubating and protecting their offspring. Well, either that or they will start laughing hysterically and the argument soon ends due to their inability to speak or stop laughing long enough to come up with an equally amusing comeback.

It's that simple. I encourage all of you pregnant women to research "what you did all day". Get on the Bump or another baby site so you have lots of ammo for "the list" argument. Pretty soon you'll have him trained like Ray in Everybody loves Raymond. Adam and I still get a kick out of the episode where he looks at Deborah and says "And what do you do all day - I'm sorry!!" Classic.

Now, if you aren't pregnant..... well, I just suggest you do whatever it takes to make yours a lot friggin' longer than theirs. And memorize it. You don't want to have to rewrite it to your arm after every shower.