Aside from being one of my favorite songs, "UnderPpressure" could be the soundtrack to my life lately. My husband says I get too personal and share entirely too much information on my blog, but my "facebook front" has to be shed and the question in my head must be asked...
Who has it flippin' together?
Allow me to clarify. I am one of those guilty parties who constantly compares myself to others. I question whether I measure up and, if I don't, how can change? Now, I personally think this can be a good thing at times. I think wanting to be a better person, mother, wife, etc. is important no matter where the motivation might come from. However, let's face it - constantly comparing yourself to other people is self depricating and destructive - you will NEVER measure up..... or do you and you just don't know it? Do I have it more together than I give myself credit for?
Since baby number two has come along, my life has been turned upside down. Again. Previously when I stayed home with Maggie Claire I really felt I had it "together". I had our routine, I had TIME to keep the house spotless and scrumptious meals ready when Adam walked in the door. I organized a playgroup, devoted time to spiritual growth, couponed, exercised, and budgeted our finances. I was the picture of "togetherness".
Then, I began working. Let's just say that arriving home at 6:30 every night put a big damper on my ability to do all of the previously mentioned things. However, I slowly got into a routine and things got a little better. I still struggled with keeping the house clean and preparing those delicious meals, but I was surviving. I had my head above water.
Currently, my "togetherness" is non existant. I can't seem to keep my head above water and do all of the things I think I should be doing. We have been dealing with a fairly fussy baby this last week or so, and all my day consists of is feeding, changing, and desperately trying to get him to sleep (he will sleep great in my arms but the moment I put him down he starts crying). I have no time to get anything accomplished and when Adam gets home I feel as though I have little, if anything, to show for my day at home.
When he and MC arrive I then struggle with getting everyone fed, giving MC quality time, completing chores that didn't get done during the day, and tending to little Grey. Granted, Adam helps with all of these things, but its still a struggle to get everything completed in a few short hours.
With this new experience in our lives I can't help but wonder how so many women do it. DO THEY REALLY HAVE IT ALL TOGETHER? I wonder so often if they are some sort of super woman with special powers or if its all a front. Do these working women with two kids REALLY have a spotless house all the time? Are their children REALLY that well behaved all the time? Do they REALLY have plenty of quality time with their spouse? If you are one of these "super women" please tell me its a front. Please tell me if I were to stop by your house at 7:00pm on a weekday I would find your child screaming, your spouse chasing them, dinner not served, beds unmade, baskets of laundry on the floor, the sink full of dishes, the pantry unstocked, and you standing in the middle of it all like a deer in headlights. Please. Tell me thats the case.
I want to believe I'm not the only one who struggles with keeping it all together. Then, I see friends who are expecting their third child. Or hear Adam talk about the guy at work who just had his FIFTH. Obviously they have it together. If they didn't, they wouldn't be adding another kiddo to the mix. I can't even FATHOM having another child - I am barely functioning with two. How is it these people get it all done. How do these women keep it together under such pressure?
If you are one of those moms who does it all, please share the wealth. Write a book. Heck, write a blog. A short instructional guide would be highly appreciated. If you DON'T have it all together, please share that as well. Tell me you are also a big 'ole facebook fronter. Pretty please?